Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Trump to rid off ISIS immediately

Hillary Clinton conceded and Donald Trump was elected the 45th US President. In his acceptance speech, he said he promised to rid off ISIS immediately.

So he will be briefed tomorrow at the Oval Office by CIA, Pentagon and FBI.

He is expected to make the directive.

Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.

CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.

Trump: The Democrats created them.

CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.

Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.

CIA: We can't do that.

Trump: Why is that?

CIA: India will cut Baluchistan out of Pak.

Trump: I don't care.

CIA: India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons. They will become a superpower. We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.

Trump: But you have to destroy the Taliban.

CIA: Sir, we can't do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes.

Trump: We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the Saudis.

Pentagon: Sir, we can't do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can't have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil - and we cannot let their people own it.

Trump: Then, let us invade Iran.

Pentagon: We cannot do that either, sir.

Trump: Why not?

CIA: We are talking to them, sir.

Trump: What? Why?

CIA: We want our Stealth Drones back. If we attack them, Russia will obliterate us as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.

Trump: Then let us invade Iraq again.

CIA: Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.

Trump: Why not the whole of Iraq?

CIA: We need the Shi'ite govt of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.

Trump: I am banning Muslims from entering US.

FBI: We can't do that.

Trump: Why not?

FBI: Then our own population will become fearless.

Trump: I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.

Border patrol: You can't do that, sir.

Trump: Why not?

Border patrol: If they're gone, who will build the wall?

Trump: I am banning H1B visas.

USCIS: You cannot do that.

Trump: Why?

Chief of Staff: If you do so, we'll have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore. Which is in India.

Trump (sweating profusely by now): What the hell should I do as President???

CIA: Enjoy the White House, sir. We will take care of the rest!

In a strange twist of event, Dato Ambiga accused the US presidential election rigged.

In reaction to his tumbling poll arising from the pussy grabbing revelation, Trump accused the election rigged against him.

Ambiga will open an American chapter of Bersih and organise a series of Bersih US version rallies to fight for Hillary.

No kidding. Serious view later.


Anonymous said...

Seems like China is going to be next world leader,
largest economy, population, market, workforce, politic, military.
And chinese are everywhere.

Anonymous said...

6/Al-An'am-65: Say: “He is able to send on you a torment from above you and from beneath your feet, or adding you to each other (making you enemies) in different parties and make you taste the violence of one to another”. See how We explain Our Verses, so that they may understand.

“Don't fear, you are the superior one. With you is truth and with them is falsehood. With you is belief and with them is profession. With you is faith in what you are upon, and with them is worldly rewards. You are connected to the greatest power, while they serve a soon-to-be-gone human being regardless of how tyrannical and heartless he or she is."
Sayyid Qutb

A quote from Imam Al-Ghazali
“Don’t elevate and exonerate yourself. If you see a young boy, say ‘This is a young boy and he has never disobeyed Allah. Surely he is better than me.’ If you see an elderly man, then say ‘This man has been worshiping Allah before I was even born. Undoubtedly, he is better than me.’ If you see an ignorant man sinning before you, then say ‘This man does not know any better. But, I hold in my bosom the sciences of the Qur’an and the sayings of the scholars but, I still sin knowingly, regardless of the knowledge Allah has given me.”

My Say