Thursday, July 10, 2014

No orange squash, but a pleasant surprise

It is too embarassing to lose in the manner that Brazil did this morning.

From the 10th minute, Germany seemed to be pounding in goals every 10 minutes in he first half. By the time it is 0-2, it was practically over for Brazil and they just crumbed to pieces.

Fans watching the game were not focus on the game any more but entertained by the jokes and pictures going viral on the social media. It only added to Brazil humiliation.

It is unlikely for Argentina to crumble to Holland in the same way with the presence of Lionel Messi. Holland's defense need to be steady for the two twin strikers of Holland, Arjen Robben and Robbie Van Persie to be effective in counter attack.

The Orange may not win but just do not get squashed.

In these days of instant communication and distribution of information, the embarassment is instantaneous and perpetual till the next "kangkung" comes along.

We witnessed of things to come when Spain got knocked out in the group matches.

There were funny insults on England too, but why bother with a no talent over-rate. Costa Rica, Chile, Columbia, Algeria, Honduras, USA and few minnow country were more pleasant surprises.

We commented here that Brazil were lucky to win 3-2 against Croatia and it did not take long to prove us correct.

Mighty Brazil with the football attacking talents and individuals unsurpassed by any nation in the world could only manage to 0-0 with Mexico. The 4-1 win over African World Cup veteran Cameroon were no big deal when compared to Mexico win against Croatia.

Again they were level at 0-0 with Chile 0-0, which is the team that sent defending champion Spain packing 0-2, to eventually win on penalities 3-2.

In the quaterfinal, Brazil beat Columbia 2-1 by roughing up Rodriguez which was then the best player in the tournament. The Columbian got even by knocking Neemar at his back. And now they suffer the consequences for ungentlemen play.

Face fact that Brazil was not impressive.

History tells that whenever Brazil is not impressive they will not go far. The impressive 1982 and 19866 squad with Zico, Falcao and Socrates lost to Italy in the second stage round robin and France in the quarter finals, respectively.

That was a team touted to be better than the 1970 team with Pele that won the World Cup in Mexico.

Ronaldo's team that last won World Cup USA in 2010 was just lucky. That year Brazil beat second rate Germany 2-0. However the whole tournament was not impressive. The games were marred with draws, overly defensive and play acting.

That team coached by Scolari, or now more suited to be called Scorelagi, were no Samba actually.

As home team, this Dalca Kurma team should consider themselves lucky to be in the semi finals in an exciting tournament where no team is a pushover anymore. The team lack a coherent strategy and ability to adjust to game circumstances.

No way in heaven, they were not going to beat Germany.

One ex general in our Whats App group does not agree with us that:

Berdasarkan kualiti permainan dan strategi, mungkin jerman. Kekuatan brazil pada skil individu dan dorongan (atau tekanan) sebagai tuan rumah.

He also predicted Argentina and said European team of South America. U get that?

So let us ask why Brazil's 1-7 defeat? We will not take this video version as a serious answer:

Seriously, reproduced below is a play by play of the game obtained here.  Inserted are jokes and images that had went viral to add on to Brazil's humiliation of losing:

Why Brazil Crumbled

Published on July 9, 2014 By Greenbarge Reporters

Brazil’s World Cup dream crumbled in spectacular fashion on Tuesday in a record 7-1 semi-final defeat. Here is a blow-by-blow account of a Germany’s night of triumph:

- ONE (Thomas Mueller 11)

Brazilians wondered how their team would cope without the injured Neymar, but the absence of captain Thiago Silva, such a reassuring presence at the back, was just as big a blow.

Neymar is lucky he's fractured a lumbar
The Brazilian defence was hopelessly exposed at the opening goal, as Toni Kroos floated in a corner from the right and Thomas Mueller found himself completely unmarked at the back post to slot home his fifth goal of the tournament.

However, the movement by Mueller and the German players was intelligent as David Luiz, who should have been marking the goalscorer, found himself blocked off and unable to make a challenge.

- TWO (Miroslav Klose 23)

The crumble really began as Fernandinho failed to cut out a pass from the German right, and Kroos and Mueller combined to cut through the middle of the Brazil defence.

Klose collected the ball inside the area and saw his shot from close range blocked by Julio Cesar, but he still reacted the quickest to convert the rebound.

The veteran striker confirmed himself as the greatest poacher in the history of the competition, scoring a record-breaking 16th World Cup goal to move one clear of the Brazilian Ronaldo, compounding the hosts’ misery.
Anyone home? Yes
 - THREE (Toni Kroos 24)

Almost immediately after the restart, Germany scored again through a combination of poor defending and marvellous finishing.

Nobody cut out Philipp Lahm’s low centre in from the German right, and even after Mueller mis-hit his shot, the ball came to Kroos.

The Bayern Munich man’s connection, first-time on the half-volley with his left foot from the edge of the area, was marvellous and Julio Cesar could do nothing.

"Who is next? Who wants to score a goal"

"If your name begins with a 'K', you're likely to score a goal"

"Kejap lagi goalkeeper Germany pun score!"
- FOUR (Toni Kroos 26)

Fernandinho was hopelessly caught in possession just outside his own area, and Kroos and Sami Khedira took advantage to break into the area.

Khedira returned the ball to Kroos, who this time simply could not miss.

"Germany lawan PKNS ke ni? No, Maya Karin leading 4-0 against home team at home ground."

"Brazilian home ground.  Home ground or burial?"

"Even JDT can play better than this!"

A joke was spreading:

"Bagi sesiapa yang baru bangun untuk sahur, jangan terkejut. Tak perlu gosok mata anda. Bukan pukul 4 tapi Brazil memang sedang kalah 0-4." 
- FIVE (Sami Khedira 29)

The culmination of an extraordinary first-half burst that will go down in history came as Mats Hummels sliced right through the heart of the Brazilian team, riding unchallenged deep into the opposition half.

Germany simply walked the ball into the net this time, with Mesut Ozil providing the assist and Khedira applying the finish.

"Brazil jadi lauk Jerman."

"Germany pakai bomoh. Patutlah goalkeeper distracted!"

Half time was:

"Brasil tak payah turun padang balik la second half. Naik bas balik terus." 

"Changing jerseys for the second half. Wearing Kevlar shirts."

Abbas Saad "It's disgraceful. There's no fight here"

The Mexican ref should get honorary German nationality by tomorrow evening

"Kena "samba" dengan petir Maya!"

"Christ the redeemer just jumped off his perch...and that happened at half time...left a note...not even God can save Brazil now..."
- SIX (Andre Schuerrle 69)

Brazil attacked after the break in a doomed attempt to rescue some pride, but they still had six defenders in their own area when Germany went on to add a sixth goal midway through the second half.

Schuerrle, who had replaced Klose 11 minutes earlier, still found himself in space in the box to convert Lahm’s cutback, as Brazil were yet again found wanting on the left-hand side.

More Hitler jokes start coming:

"They're throwing off their thongs at the Germans."
- SEVEN (Andre Schuerrle 79)

Mueller turned provider this time to set up Schuerrle to score again, and his delightful control was followed by an arrowing left-foot shot on the half-volley that beat Julio Cesar and went into the net off the underside of the crossbar.

Oscar’s late reply for the hosts was irrelevant, with Brazil already having succumbed to their greatest ever humiliation.

There will be that anger:


The whole country would have been mourning:

Because Brazil is everybody's immediate sentimental favourite and their supporters are gloating on past glory without making proper analysis of Brazil's true strength, the true football enthusiast were  rubbing it in unabated.

Breaking news, Brazil baru sahaja dilanda gempa bumi berukuran 7.1 pada skala ritcher. Setakat ini belum diketahui jumlah kecederaan @ kematian.

Oe the jersey:

The last could be a frustrated fan.

On the logo:

The glory seeker were picked on:

Including Anwar Ibrahim who wanted to be associated with the favourite and eventual winner:

Who would not resist some political fun of Brazil fan, Anwar?

That was from Unspinners here.

"Ini semua salah UMNO, maka esok kita protes guling guling di Dataran Merdeka untuk istihar Brazil menang dan masuk Final."

More standard Pakatan Rakyat lines:

"Kekalahan Brazil ada konspirasi umno bn. PR dah sepakat akan membawa kes ke mahkamah."

"Bersih akan anjur demo d dataran minta najib letak jawatan sbb Brazil kalah [Read Husin Lempoyang here]"

The fun continues:

Ambo GB
Kolah tupat

09 Julai 2014


Xdok Mood Nok Kijo Esok

Denge ini ambo nok oyak ko boh sbb2 di atah

2.     Ambo sebaga pekerjo d jabat boh raso xleh nok g kijo esok sebab nyo pasuke ambo brazil keno berat denge sek nazi germe.

3.     Ambo harap, boh pehe jiwo. Ambo meme xleh kijo esok di sebab kei kemaluan besa kena katok ko sek nazi jerme.

Sekiye, timo kasih.

Ye bena,cikgu kolah demo.
Ambo bekas penyokong Brazil

Berjuang untuk islee

The day has not ended:

"Bagi penyokong Brazil yg tidak berpuas hati dgn keputusan pagi tadi...Pihak Astro Saluran 801 akn menayangkan siaran ulangan Brazil vs Germany pada malam ini.

Penyokong Brazil jangan kecewa dan berilah sokongan kepada pasukan Brazil. Mana tahu Brazil akan menang pada siaran ulangan itu nanti.

Sekian, harap maklum."

While the German fans were jubilant:


Pontian : Penduduk di kampung parit jerman diberi cuti umum esok sempena kejayaan pasukan Jerman mara ke perlawanan akhir menewaskan Brasil 7-1, pagi tadi.                             

Pengumuman itu dibuat oleh Setiausaha Kampung, Parjo Widowo di selepas menyaksikan perlawanan akhir di dataran Pontian bersama masyarakat kampung.        

"Walaupun Jerman jauh beribu batu tetapi kejayaan mara ke perlawanan menyebabkan nama kampung ini terus menjadi sebutan dan dikenali di mata dunia.        

"Selepas berbincang dengan ketua kampung dan imam, kami sebulat suara mengistiharkan cuti umum," katanya.

The kampong became known when Germany humiliated Portugal.

At the end of the day, one wonders who are churning these jokes. The telco people must be happy with the bandwith used fast:

After Nigeria was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to Brazil...................

He said he just needs their bank details and PIN numbers to complete the transaction.

The ex-General wrongly predicted one.

Maybe he will be wrong again and it is not an orange crush.

As long as no penalty shootout, it could be a pleasant surprise. Despite winning against Costa Rica, the Dutch are not usually good on penalty shootouts.

* Edited 12:28 PM

* Update 12:30 PM:

After 120 minutes of play, the Dutch-Argentine semi finals went scoreless. Dutch expectedly lost on penalities 2-4.

Their quest for their first World Cup continues.

With Brazilian players playing abroad and the game changing, Brazil will need at least 12 years to put a team together, if they could rebound back again.


Anonymous said...

Well done Bravo Long live Chin Peng!

maae said...

Terbaik ABIW... he..he.. fun-mpouh ! Sambal takde belacan mane enak nya ... asyiiik makae bakuteh je, loye !

Anonymous said...

brazil 1982 team lost to Italy. 1986 lost to france.

Anonymous said...

Berita terbaru.
Menurut Presiden FIFA Sepp Blatter, Brazil masih berpeluang utk layak ke FINAL 17 Julai ini, jika Jerman tarik diri drpd Piala Dunia 2014.....

tok mudim said...

1.......German menang teruk be...

2. Dialog bapak dgn anak

abah : Aiman....Tv ni tunjuk siaran langsung ke atau kau tengah main play station jerman lawan brazil.

Aiman : abah..kan dekat screen tv hd 50 inci abah tu ado tertulis channel astro sport....

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